How can I get my infant to sleep at night?
Signed,
Sleepless in Southampton
Dear Sleepless,
‘Tis a difficult question thou dost pose at your Will, as he hath not much knowledge on the raisinge of infants, so I didst pose thy querie to somme goode wyves of Londountown. For the moste, this restless infante troubled not these ladies as they didst turn them to a sounde wetnurse to raise until the babe was weaned. Mayhap thou may need’st seeke thee out a wetnurse to aide thee? Then mayest thou return to nights of untroubled slumber.
Eternally Yours,
Will
Dear Young Will,
Do you have a homemade remedy for removing Damn Spots?
Signed,
Lady M
Dear Lady M,
‘Tis another vexynge querie for Will today, one more suited to the womenfolk of mine age than a playwright. Here, your Will didst seeke out Good Kat, the launderwoman who doth take care of mine one vestments and linens in London. Every day, Kat doth collect the linens and goodes for cleaning from several of her customers, and she is skill’d in removing wines, blood, and the like. For the moste troublesome of spots, such as bloode, she doth swear by this recipe:
Take a pounde of roche Alome, beate it into pouder: the rootes of Iris of Florence made in pouder, halfe a pounde of new layed Egges, two pound and a halfe of Spanishe Sope, braye the sayde pouders with the Egges and Sope, and make thereof rounde balles. If one Egge be not inough take as many as you shall thinke good. And when you wyll take out any spott of grease, washe the place of the spott on both sydes of the cloth with fayre water, then rubbe it with the saide balles and cloth upon cloth. This done, washe out the odure with cleane water, and wring the clothe to make the grease or fylth come out the better. Then wash it still with cleane water, and it wyll be cleane.
I do sweare I hath the cleanest linens in all of London, so ‘tis like this recipe is true.
Eternally Yours,
Will
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