Ask Young Will

Dear Young Will,

My husband says that he doesn't want me to leave him the second-best bed once I die. I don't understand his attitude. Should I find something else to bequeath, since I'm pretty sure I'm going to go first, or should I just assume that he'll understand why I did it once I'm gone?

Signed,
Sleepless Second

Dear Sleepless,

I prithee, goode ladie, take heed of mine wordes and marke them well, as mine own will hath caused much wonder in this matter:

Chose items thou will leaveth with much care;
Second best shall always be deem’d unfair.

Eternally Yours,
Will

Dear Young Will,

Pardon for my peasant tongue. I don’t think Macbeth is a complete play. The prophecy is not fulfilled in the end as was told to Banquo. Is it because the play we read nowadays is just an actor's torn copy?

Signed,
MacMess

Dear MacMess,
Though thy tongue be peasant, thy thoughts be noble. To Banquo, the Weird Sisters do profess:

Lesser than Macbeth, and greater
Not so happy, yet much happier
Thou shalt get kings, though thou be none.

‘Tis a question most provokynge, but the answer doth lie in mine Act four, when Macbeth again doth perceive the Weird sisters. These do show him the procession of Banquo’s heirs, all with crowns, the last bearing a mirror to reflect yet more kinges. Therein, the Sister do predict what happens with Banquo’s line.

‘Tis also of note that I hath written this playe with His Majestie, King James in minde. James was James VI of Scotland before he hath assumed the English throne, and ‘tis well knowne to your Will that Banquo was a forefather to our James.

I pray this answer doth satisfy thy question.
Eternally Yours,
Will

Dear Will Young,

You were rubbish on Never Mind the Buzzcocks....

Signed,
Unconvinced



Dear Unconvinced,

I fear thou hath confus’d your Will with some other poet, as I am not the creator of said worke. If thou findest it upsets thy belly or makes thee frown, ‘tis like to be a worke writ by Ben Jonson.

Eternally Yours,
Will