Will's Night of Errours

O my deare groundlyngs!  Your Will didst pass these Yuletide days in suche a state of merriment.  The Gray's Inne did pay mine own Lord Chamberlain's men to perform the Comedie of Errours for the Christmas lawe revels.  There was much revellynge but little lawe to be had!  The crowde was merrie and boisterous, and so did your Will and his men follow their lead with dancinge and jugglinge and drinkyne.  Forsoothe, we did drinke as much sack as the best of men, so that when we didst take to the stage, our playinge was as much a comedie of errours as the words I didst but scribe.

Young Jacke, playing roles of the women in mine playe, didst win unwelcome adorations from an older ruffian who so believed the youth’s actinge and dress that the man pursued Jacke-the-courtesan off the stage and even dared to step upon the plankes during the scene!  Jacke didst trie to hold the man at bay, stepping himself back into Richard Burbage. 

Burbage, so drunke with sack, had long since abandoned the lines as your Will had writ them, and now sought to woo a tasty lass in the audience.  Jacke did tumble back into Burbage, who then tossed forward, sack and all, into his Jill. 

The audience did roar – mayhap even moreso than, I confess, I hath heard in close of this comedie itself.  From this night forth, we hath determined we shall call this the Night of Errours!

Will on passion

'Tis a fire not easily quenchéd betimes, though it giveth life where there was once barrenness. 

Test thy mettle

Test thy mettle, win a prize! Please email your answer to dr.faustus@dulcevenenum.com to be entered into a drawing to win one of our Shakesblogging exclusive mugs and stationery.

Question: what is this?

Good lucke to all of thee!

The wine flows for Shakespeare...

Good eve, groundlyngs!  Your Will hath passed a long day, into the eve, preparinge for revels at Gray's Inn, which doth include our companie's stagyinge of mine owne comedie of errours.  'Tis a most festive tyme in mine owne Londoun, one which we hath passed in good companie of Bacchus himself.  I do but praye this playe faires well on the morrow...

Advice from a villain

You Will hath given thee advice fit for a Kinge, and that from a Fool. This day, I do offer thee advice from the villain. If ye be one, it may aide thee in thy vice; if thou findest thyself near the villain, this may prove to be his undoinge.

Happy Holidays from Will

Happy holidays from Your Will

Need an insult? Will has you covered...

Needest thou an insult? Your Will doth have thee cover'd. Feel free to share or to tag on Facebook those that offend thee.

Will's Yearbooke: Henry Fitzroy

Here thou canst observe another leaf of Will his yearbooke. This is Henry Fitzroy, illegitimate son of Henry VIII and Elizabeth Blount. Henry didst acknowledge the boy, givinge him two titles and an annum of some £4,845.

Sonnet 97

Brrrr...'tis a bitter chill that doth bite at your Will in Londoun this eve, groundlyngs, and 'tis the longest night of the year. Mayhap I shall finde me some good companie at Blackfriar's and warm my belly with some Ypocras.

Here is mine sonnet 97, which doth tell of waste and winter-tide. If thou need'st some aide in thy readinge, thou canst finde it here:

http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/97

Henry VIII dartboard

Faire gentles, last eve, Kit and I didst create this dartboarde of Henry Viii and his wyves and mistresses for thee.  I pray thou doth find it amusinge.  'Tis of large size and canst be printed out if thou wishe.  The Master of Revels for Shakesblogging shall make it for market at the shoppe at www.zazzle.com/dulcevenenum on a sturdie boarde anon. 

Ask Young Will

Dear Young Will,

My husband says that he doesn't want me to leave him the second-best bed once I die. I don't understand his attitude. Should I find something else to bequeath, since I'm pretty sure I'm going to go first, or should I just assume that he'll understand why I did it once I'm gone?

Signed,
Sleepless Second

Dear Sleepless,

I prithee, goode ladie, take heed of mine wordes and marke them well, as mine own will hath caused much wonder in this matter:

Chose items thou will leaveth with much care;
Second best shall always be deem’d unfair.

Eternally Yours,
Will

Dear Young Will,

Pardon for my peasant tongue. I don’t think Macbeth is a complete play. The prophecy is not fulfilled in the end as was told to Banquo. Is it because the play we read nowadays is just an actor's torn copy?

Signed,
MacMess

Dear MacMess,
Though thy tongue be peasant, thy thoughts be noble. To Banquo, the Weird Sisters do profess:

Lesser than Macbeth, and greater
Not so happy, yet much happier
Thou shalt get kings, though thou be none.

‘Tis a question most provokynge, but the answer doth lie in mine Act four, when Macbeth again doth perceive the Weird sisters. These do show him the procession of Banquo’s heirs, all with crowns, the last bearing a mirror to reflect yet more kinges. Therein, the Sister do predict what happens with Banquo’s line.

‘Tis also of note that I hath written this playe with His Majestie, King James in minde. James was James VI of Scotland before he hath assumed the English throne, and ‘tis well knowne to your Will that Banquo was a forefather to our James.

I pray this answer doth satisfy thy question.
Eternally Yours,
Will

Dear Will Young,

You were rubbish on Never Mind the Buzzcocks....

Signed,
Unconvinced



Dear Unconvinced,

I fear thou hath confus’d your Will with some other poet, as I am not the creator of said worke. If thou findest it upsets thy belly or makes thee frown, ‘tis like to be a worke writ by Ben Jonson.

Eternally Yours,
Will

 

Test thy mettle

Test thy mettle! Dost know the answer, groundlyngs?

Need an insult? Will has you covered

Doubtless the worke weeke be upon thee, groundlyngs, as it be upon your Will.  If thou needest an insult for those that do offend thee, feel free to share this with the curs or thou canst tagge them here. 

Kit's Devilishly Good recipes

Kit hath once again shared a recipe for thee, groundlyngs.  I poste it for thee here with his wordes:
"Good morrow, gentles.  Betimes thou might have unwanted companie, most like during the holidays, and thou findest thyself with little means to feed them.  For this matter, I myself doth make 'Garbage,' which is a hearty meale of the less savorie parts of the birde. -- Your Kit."

Will's Daily Life

Your Will didst muse betimes ye moderns might longe for a glimpse at mine daily life. Here thou canst observe Henry VIII and the barber-surgeons of London. When the good Londouners take ill or do neede a rotten tooth pulled, we do seeke out the barbers for suche practice. The barbers also do offer the service of bloodlettynge and leechynge.

Will's words of love

O groundlyngs, I didst thinke this day and all others we doth need wordes of love. Tag thy friends and lovers on Facebook, or share if thou so desireth. And remember always that your Will doth love thee.

Fit for a Fool

My deare groundlyngs,

Betimes ye moderns look to mine workes for advice or comfort in thy moments of need. Your Will hath determinéd 'twould aide thee to put some of mine wordes here on mine wall. Behold, I have for thee: advice fit for a Fool. ;)

Sonnet 119

O, my groundlyngs! The errours your Will hath made in the game of Love. Mayhap thou wilst understande this sonnet if thou hath toy'd with sirens as I hath done betimes...

 If thou need'st some aid in thy readinge, thou canst finde it here:

http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/119

Need an insult? Will has you covered...

Needest thou an insult? Your Will hath you cover'd. Thou might also enjoy this image of an ear scoope such as her Majestie might use.

A leet contest!

Let us have a game, groundlyngs! Here thou canst observe your Will's leetspeak. Canst thee create thy own version? Post thy entry below in the comments, and I shall pluck out a champion Thursday, December 13. Winner shall receive mine leetspeak poster. Good lucke to all of thee!

Will's yearbook

Here thou canst perceive another leaf of Will, his yearbooke, groundlyngs. This leafe is of the lady foole to the majesties, Jane Foole.

Will's Ship of Fools

Ah, sweet gentles...this hath been a weeke wherein your Will didst fine himself surrounded by fools. I pray that thee and I as well do have a peaceful week's ende.

Advice from Will

This night, your Will doth offer thee some advice on patience and forgiveness, advice fit for a kinge: How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees...

Shakespeare on aging

'Tis good to laugh at Time's hand, groundlyngs. What say ye?

Need advice? Will has you covered

Dear Young Will,

When are you returning, BARD??
Signed,
Waiting

Dear Waiting,

I'faith, dear groundlyng, your Will hath never left thee.  Though my bones be duste, my wordes remain for all to read, to comfort thee, to challenge thee, to give thee mirth.  There is no death but oblivion, and thy Will doth remain with thee always for thy love.

Eternally Yours,
Will

Need an insult?

Needest thou an insult? Your Will doth have thee cover'd. Feel free to tag on Facebook or share with those who do offend thee...

Sonnet 29

Prithee, forgive your Will, groundlyngs, as I hath journy'd me to Stratford to see mine Anne. Mine internet connection in the countryside 'tis not as sounde as that I canst find in the worst of pubs in London. :-/ I didst enjoie my visit, and didst mark the birds seeking foode in wintertime. Here is mine sonnet 29, which doth speak of those moments when we do bemoan our fates, yet mighte finde some comfort with those we do love. I pray ye do have some one in thy life like this.

Mmm, lampray bake!

Kit hath given your Will this recipe for lampray bake, which he doth swear is food fit for kinge. Be wary that thou doth not eat a surfeit of sayd lamprays, groundlyngs, lest ye end up like King Henry I.

Need an insult? Will has you covered

Ah, 'tis Monday. Mayhap some Ben Jonson doth glower around thee at thy worke? Feel tree to tag on Facebooke or share those that offend thee with this insult.

Will Sommers, court jester

Here thou canst perceive another leaf of Will, his yearbooke, groundlyngs. This is Will Sommers, court foole to Henry VIII and some time Mary, his daughter. Will's wit, though praised by His Majestie, didst make him some enemies at court.

Sonnet 116 and the volta

Your Will doth often use the volta, or turn, in his sonnets. Where Petrarch doth use the volta in lines eight, Will doth favor the volta in the closing couplet. Here thou canst perceive the volta in one of mine most-lovéd sonnets.

Advice fir for a villain

You Will hath given thee advice fit for a Kinge, and that from a Fool. This day, I do offer thee advice from the villain. If ye be one, it may aide thee in thy vice; if thou findest thyself near the villain, this may prove to be his undoinge.

Twelfth Night playbooke

My deare groundlyngs, as your Will and company doth prepare for winter-tide performances, Kit didst watch us practice this new playe of mine. He thought ye moderns might longe for some guide to this comedie.

Need an insult?

Needest thou an insult? Will doth have thee cover'd. Feel to share with those that offend thee.

Sonnet 6

'Tis chilly and cloudy, and as I didst cross the Thames today, groundlyngs, I didst but think thou mighte want for some poesie. Here is mine sonnet six, which doth begin with thoughts of winter...

That smile!

Your Will doth oft muse ye moderns might longe for a glimpse of my daily lyfe. This may aide thee to understande why no one in Will's age doth smile for his portrait.

Fir for a Fool

My deare groundlyngs,

Betimes ye moderns look to mine workes for advice or comfort in thy moments of need. Your Will hath determinéd 'twould aide thee to put some of mine wordes here on mine wall. Behold, I have for thee: advice fit for a Fool. ;)

Will's leet speak

Good day to thee, groundlyngs. When your Will doth write to his Kit or Dick, betimes I do use what ye moderns call "leet speak." I thought thou might longe for a looke at mine wordes. Feel free to share if thou believe this may aide thy FBFs.

Will's yearbook

Here thou canst perceive another leaf of Will, his yearbooke, groundlyngs. This is Abd el-Ouahed ben Messaoud ben Mohammed Anoun, who in 1600 hath attended the court to try to move her Majestie to attack the common enemie Spain. There are some who do believe this Barbary ambassador hath movéd your Will to write Othello.

O, for a bottle of sack!

 

Betimes, Falstaff is not so foolish as he seems, groundlyngs. ;)

Need an insult?

Needest thou an insult? Your Will dost have thee cover'd! Feel free share with those who do offend thee.

Is the Queen a virgin?

Kit and I hath spent a merry eve at the Mermaid. After many cups of sack, we didst take a poll on her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's purity. Forgive me, fair groundlings, for my eyes are weary, and my belly warm with the drink, but before I rest mine weary head, I shall post our discoveries from the good Londoners at the tavern.

Ask Young Will

Dear Young Will,

I have to go through the agony of jury service starting today. Democracy, civic duty, yeah yeah but it's involuntary slavery. Did'st the citizens of your day have to do this too? Did'st thou?

Signed,
Ambivalent Jurispru...

dence

Dear Jurisprudence,

Your Will hath indeed spent his time in courts of England, and thou canst read about such an instance in a case knowne as Bellott v. Mountjoy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bellott_v._Mountjoy

As to jury duty, we hath observéd this system in England since the Normans didst cross the channel, though oft in that age the jurists hath also borne witness to matters of the case.

In your Will’s age, those with monie and influence didst have better hope of winninge a case (unless the defendante hath offended her Majestie). Your Will feels stronglie ye moderns hath amended this inequalitie, yes?

Eternally Yours



Will's Yearbook

Here thou canst perceive another leaf of Will, his yearbooke, groundlyngs. This is Robert Dudley, 1st Earl of Leicester, who for years hath sought to finde his way into the Queene's heart and -- forgive me -- "purse."

Sonnet 104

Good eve, groundlyngs! Your Will doth wonder if thou hast a friende as dear to thee as some hath been to me. Here is one of my sonnets, for one such as these. If thou doth struggle to comprehende, thou canst finde aide here:

http://www.shakespeare-online.com/sonnets/104detail.html

Shakespeare's Histories

 

My deare groundlyngs, it didst come to your Will that ye might want some definitiones of mine playes by type. Today, I offer thee some aide in mine histories. Feel free to share if thou feel it worthie.

Shakespearean comedy

My deare groundlyngs, it didst come to your Will that ye might want some definitiones of mine playes by type. Today, I offer thee some aide in mine comedies. Feel free to share if thou feel it worthie.

Shakespeare & tragedy

My deare groundlyngs, it didst come to your Will that ye might want some definitiones of mine playes by type. Today, I offer thee some aide in mine tragedies. Feel free to share if thou feel it worthie.

Need an insult? Will has you covered...

Ah, 'tis Monday. If thou needest an insult, your Will doth have thee cover'd. Feel free to share or tagge those that do offende thee.

Will's Daily Life

Your Will doth oft muse ye moderns might longe for a glimpse of my daily lyfe.  This daye, I didst observe Tom Ratcatcher at his business, carryinge away the prize of his labour.