Kit vs. the Greene-eye'd monster

‘Twas a passing good time at the Mermaid until that lily livr’d whoreson Robert Greene joined our merry party.  Your Will paid him no heed, but his boastful words did not sit well with Kit, who dous’d the knave with ale. Greene screamed, "Marlowe brings woe, and sorrow hates despair!" But Kit lauched and replyed, "Confess thou suck'st stale and bee hang'd, thou jigging dog!" Then Kit did bleede Greene alle upon th' floor and collected his due whilst your Will kept lookout for agents o' the Crown and th' Constabularies.  We scattered as an agent heard the uproar, run through the dark streets and laugh’d at Robert’s baptism-in-ale.  Kit had stolen two vessels in the upheaval, and we do offer them now to you, Groundlings!  All thou must needs do is share this image, and we shall enter thy name in the drawing, to be held Friday, the 29^th of June.