Winners, and a gift for thee...

Your Will hath spent a long day and morn at the theatre, but I hath promised thee a champion for the prizes below, the book for posie and the mousepad, which Will believes must be a trap for pestes. We do offer our laurels to Rosin Kane, who hath won the book and a mousepad, and Donna Marie Hamilton, who hath won a Shakesblogging mousepad. For the rest of thee, groundlyngs, I do offer this door hanging. Thou mayest present it to thy printer on some sturdie page and share if thou wouldst. Eternally yours, Will.

Win a notebook and Shakesblogging mousepads :)

'Tis the weekend, and Will doubts not that ye hath good sport in minde. As for your gentle wright, I shall hie me to the Mermaid with Kit and Richard, perchance that sour sack Ben Jonson. I leave thee with this image of some gifts I would bestow upon thee. All thou must do is like this posting and I shall pluck out a champion or two on Monday eve. 'Tis a book for scribing thine own poesie and some thing ye moderns do call a "mousepad." Perhaps 'tis for trapping pests?

Hinky Pinkie

As thou likely knows't, your Will hath been progenitour to many words and phrases ye moderns use to this day. I am most fonde of using hinky pinkies, nonsense words that rhyme or half rhyme. Here are but a few:

Kit's recipes

Hrm...Kit hath offer'd ye this recipe for ale, groundlyngs. Will doth wonder if the man bee consuméd by some thing of late...'tis difficult to mark the matter with quill.

Need an insult?

Need an insult? Will doth have thee coveréd. Share with those who offend thee...

Ask Young Will

Dear Young Will,

How can you help me to succeed in my English literature exam on the morro?

Signed,
Weary-ey’d clerke

Dear Weary,

Will doth pray these words find thee in the mastery of thy subject since he couldst not aid thee readily. The query thou dost post might aide other clerkes, so Will revisits it now. ‘Tis best thy schoolmaster beat thee fastidiously if thou be’est a young lad; the whole of the continent doth finde that the heavy hand does reign in the wand’ring mind of the young scholar. If thou art of the older sorte, it may serve thee well to purchase as many candles and thou canst afford. Burn thy tapers late into the night, e’ry night, good clerke. In this way, thou wilt find thy efforts rewarded.

Eternally Yours,
Will

Dear Young Will,

Shakey, have you ever been in the situation where you lost your keys and mobile phone?

Signed,
Locked Out and Tuned Off

Dear Locked,

‘Zwounds – no one hath naméd your Will Shakey thus as I am constant as the North star. ‘Tis of little consequence, but no doubt thou hast kept company with that dunghill Ben Jonson and that catgut Robert Greene. As I keep me in a lodgehouse when I am in London, your Will does not carry his keys, but leaves them to his landlorde. When I carry me to Stratford, I come home to open house, and my Anne doth manage the keys. This is for the best; I have been known to lose many a quill from lodge to theatre and back agayn. Perhaps thou shouldst seek thee out a wife or man who can keep these safe for thee, from thy own failing minde? This strategie hast taken the burden from Will.

Eternally Yours,
Will

Dear Young Will,

Given the bloody awful weather in the UK, shall I compare thee (or anyone else) to a summer’s day?

Signed,

Cold Hearth, not Heart

Dear Cold Hearth,
Yes, if a person doth offend thee, and thou seek’st to twist thy meaning. As for Will, I hope I offend thee not and that thy e'ry summer day is milde as a newborne lamb.

Eternally Yours,
Will

Dear Young Will,

We are still wondering why you gave Anne your 2nd best bed…

Signed,
What’s in Will’s Will

Dear Will’s Will,

Your Will is fain to remove all mystery. This puzzle, then, I bequeath to ye moderns. ;)

Eternally Yours,
Will

Win a prize -- who is this?

Test thy mettle! Who is this? Send your answer to: dr.faustus@dulcevenenum.com to be entered into a drawing for a disappearing wives of Henry VIII mug! (Please don't post your answer here). Contest ends Wednesday, July 18. Good luck!