Good advice from Will's fools

Today your Will hath for thee: advice from a Fool. Though betimes a fool doth spoute nonsense, yet ofttimes he canst speak wordes of wisdom. Dost recognise the playe from which these wordes doth come?

Will's Monday insult

'Tis Monday, and doubteless thou hast a longe weeke of worke before thee, fair gentles. If thou needest an insult for those that are like to offend thee, thou canst seekest it here from your Will. Free free to tagge on Facebook or share.

Will's daily life

Good day to thee, groundlyngs! Here thou canst perceive the field armour of His Majestie Henry VIII, as well as his coat or armes. Suche suits did weigh as much as 50 poundes.

Will's Yearbook: The Falconer

Here thou canst observe a leaf from Will: His Yearbooke. While your Will canst not recall the name of this nobleman, 'tis a beauteous portrait of mine age that doth showe the sport of falconry, whiche was belov'd by manie.

Ask Will: All about your body

Dear Will,

What's a 'nocturnal emission'?

Signed,
A Midsummer Night’s Dream Deferred

Dear Dream Deferred,

‘Tis a wondrous strange question thou dost pose for your Will, but I will try to answer it with the best that medicine and faith doth offer from mine age.

After conferring with some younge physicians from Oxford, I didst learn that the nocturnal emission didst springe from lacke of sex, most especiallie for those younge men who are unwed or in priestlie orders. Your Will dost finde this explanation moste sounde as there is no often means for youth to finde relief when selfe-love is a sinne.

The church doth finde another reason for these nighttime dreams, as your Will didst learne from somme clerkes at Oxford. These nighttime emissions are from visits from the succubi, those female demons who do preye on the lust of menne as they sleep. Man must be ever on guard from demons, these clerkes so saye, and sleep will not prevent their meddlings.

As manne cannot control the urges of his dreams, he is not to be charged with sinne after suffering suche a night.

If thou dost suffer suche urges, dear Dream, these holy men didst offer some advice. They do advice that thou bindeth thy loins tightly and say St. Ambrose’s prayer against such pollution every night before bed: Procul recedant somnia Et noctium phantasmata Hostemque nostrum comprinte, Ne polluantur corpora.[Let dreams and nocturnal Phantasies depart far away, and suppress our enemy Lest our bodies be polluted.]

I praye this doth give thee the aide thy need.

Eternally Yours,
Will

Sonnet Five

Here thou canst perceive my sonnet five, where your Will doth lament the passinge of time, and how age doth sap the youth of his beautie.

If thou needest some aid to thy readinge, thou canst seeke it here:

http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/5

Need an insult? Will's got you covered!

Fie! 'Tis Monday, and doubtless thou wilt find some knave doth trouble thee in this week. Feel free to tag the villain on Facebook at Shakesblogging, or share this image with him as thou wilt.